I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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