Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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