I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
