Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
