I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i think i have two assholes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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