I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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