I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
