you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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