so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
