She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
