people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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