Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
