His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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