The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
