how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
