So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
