can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
