now i know why i became what i already was.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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