Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
