her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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