do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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