I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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