physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
