we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
