wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
