I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
It's just like the Real World with babies
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Randomize
