the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
