She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
