Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
