had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
