im holly from the hills drunk
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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