I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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