I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
