I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
