dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
