I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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