So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
