do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
