They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
