a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
