p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
