If i come over, it means nothing
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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