either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
