having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Enjoy the penises
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
