is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
