HIV tests are more positive than that guy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
