I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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