I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
