there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
