You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
