we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
